10 Tips to Help You Stay Optimistic During Tough Times in Marriage

During tough times in a marriage, it’s sometimes hard to stay optimistic unless you have some superhuman powers. That’s why you find out exactly how to stay optimistic can help you figure out how to weather the inevitable tough times.

Even the most amazing couples are likely to go through some rough patches at some point in their marriage. During these trying times, the beautiful can start to seem like it’s not so beautiful anymore, as one or both of you may start to feel drained and wonder what exactly is going on.

This is especially true if they don’t know how to handle the situation properly; if their optimism begins to wane, they begin to look on the dark side rather than the bright side of things.

Are you going through difficult times with your partner? It helps to know that this could be the start of something beautiful. You just have to keep your optimism intact.

These 10 tips will help you stay upbeat during difficult times in your marriage:

1. Trust yourself and trust your partner

You must realize that nothing destroys your marriage unless you or your partner, or even both, allow it.

This marriage is yours. You and your partner built something beautiful out of nothing, and it is the duty of both of you to maintain it.

Are you going through difficult times? Trust yourself. Remember how you promised to come together no matter what. Remember, too, how your partner promised to be there for you.

Trust him or her. They’re both bigger than anything they’re going through. They love each other and their will to stay together is unbreakable.

2. Don’t look for an escape

When we go through difficult times, it’s easy for us to run away or turn to the seemingly easy route. But the easy way is not necessarily the right way.

It rarely helps to run when faced with uncomfortable situations. The best we can do sometimes is to face whatever comes our way head-on.

Realize that your marriage can come through the tough times unscathed. Clinical psychologist Carla Manly, Ph.D., says that both partners need to be flexible, team-oriented, and empathic in the face of difficult situations.

Begin to see your partner as your teammate. On a soccer field, all teammates win and lose together. No one decides to abandon their partner because they are beating him up.

Everyone keeps playing together until they win or lose. That is being optimistic.

3. Don’t listen to everyone

We are human and we are drawn to seek help from time to time. When we go through difficult times in our marriage, we are likely to talk to our closest friends about it as a way to find release.

When we talk to our friends, we must keep in mind that not everything they say should be accepted as true. We should have a mind of our own and decide what is good advice and what is bad advice. People give advice from their own experiences, and that’s fine. It is up to us to choose what is good for us and what is not.

4. Observe your mentors

I think there are people you look up to, people who have been married for a while, whose marriage motivates you. They can be your mom and dad, your grandma and grandpa, etc.

To stay upbeat in tough times, check out these seasoned couples. See how they still love each other after so long, how they shake hands when they walk down the street. How does it make you feel? Great, I think.

Realize that they couldn’t have gotten this far without being optimistic during some tough times here and there. as wellRealize that your marriage can last that long, too, and it can be just as beautiful. Let your marriage motivate you.

5. Memories are gold

If you are going through difficult times with your partner, you can draw optimism from the beautiful memories that both of you share.

Remember the many times you had the fun of your lives together. She was not someone else. It was him and it was her. No alien from the moon made it happen. It was all of you.

Realize that those times may return once again. And may both of you be able to smile as brightly as you did in the pictures on your phone or shop window.

He genuinely longs to share those moments again.

6. Talk to your partner

Your partner is your teammate. The two of you can talk about anything that is bothering you. That includes even the difficult times you are experiencing. It will help them to be optimistic.

Talk about the fun times the two of you have shared. Talk about the first day you met, how weird he looked and how shy he was.

Reaffirm your commitment and love for each other. Promise to handle things amicably, without reclining to blame games.

Don’t try to manipulate your partner or make them feel guilty. Even if they may be at fault in some way, don’t blame them or make them feel bad about themselves. Your communication should be full of love.

7. Go out together

Memories can become real life if you let them. Let’s say you see a photo from a long time ago of you and your partner in a museum. It is helpful to do everything possible to bring this image to life.

Go out with them. Visit the places you both visited when you were still doing well. Play those games you both used to play, etc.

8. Identify the source of the problem

Difficult times do not spring from thin air. They all have a source. Something you should know is causing the breakup between you and your partner. You should try to identify this thing.

  • Is it your finances?
  • Is it trust?
  • Do you suspect that your partner is cheating on you?

Whatever it is, after you’ve identified it, work to make it go away.

9. Talk to a counselor

When your optimism begins to wane, it may be time to talk to a marriage counselor. Tell your counselor exactly how you feel and take their professional advice.

Professional counseling can be very helpful for your marriage.

10. Give it time

Know that tough times don’t last forever. They come and go. Whatever you and your partner are experiencing, give it time.

Do your best, and let it be. Trust what you both share and also know that this too shall pass.

Photo of Külli Kittus on Unsplash

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