Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge(with Men)

Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge (With Men)


Ah, dating: one of life’s greatest mysteries, and the only thing we fear more than filing our taxes each spring.

OK, maybe that’s a bit dramatic. Dating has its fun and exciting moments. (That first kiss! Those butterflies!) But it can also be awkward and stressful, especially in the digital age, where ghosts, zombies, and breadcrumbs have become common practice. “Dating and romance have become a kind of marketplace,” says Trish McDermott, dating coach at and a founding member of the team. “Thanks to apps that allow us to remove people from our lives in less time than it takes to sneeze, it’s hard not to see ourselves as products on a shelf, sitting there trying to be everything the customer wants and waiting. that you choose us instead of another similar product.” “Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge (With Men)”

Of course, dating can be very worthwhile in the end, especially when you find the person you want to share your life with. The trick is to get there. To do so, women have developed several different ways to navigate the dating matrix and avoid big mistakes along the way. Historically, women have kept these tools secret. But now, we’re pulling back the curtain on those dating secrets women have been keeping.

1. We do more research than you think.

It would be to say lightly that women are diligent in our research. We check your Twitter to see if you’re funny, your Instagram to see where you travel, your Facebook to gauge your political leanings, and your LinkedIn to see if you’re employed. “It’s not harassment to Google someone,” says McDermott. “We live in the information age. We check reviews before choosing a restaurant for lunch; it’s perfectly normal to be curious about a date, and for security reasons, it’s a good idea to do a little browsing.”

2. We compare ourselves to your ex.

Unfortunately, stalking a date on Facebook has a downside. Flipping through old profile photos carries the risk of running into your date’s ex.

That can lead to harmful comparisons that cause a lack of self-confidence on that next date. “We rarely measure up when we insist on comparing ourselves to others, and we lose the very essence of who we are, the magic that makes us who we are,” says McDermott. He adds that it’s important for women to remember that “your date asked you out or agreed to go out with you because there was something about you that was intriguing or attractive.”

3. We check the compatibility of your zodiac sign.

The cat is out of the bag on this one. Even if we’re not entirely convinced that astrology is a legitimate concept, we want to know, before we go on a date, if we’re a good match for Virgo (even if you didn’t know you were Virgo).

4. We give it a code name.

Did you think that when we talk about you, we use the name on your birth certificate? If so, you are so wrong. Your codename can be anything from where we met (“gym crush”), to your job (“tech friend”), to your most recognizable feature (“tall guy”). Whatever it is, you’ll probably never know!

5. We seek advice from our friends.

Group chats often explode before we go on dates with friends’ thoughts on what topics to rape and what topics to avoid.

Those group chats also include candid conversations about what we’re looking for from the date and dating in general. For example, if a woman just experienced a breakup, she might tell her best friends that she is simply looking to get back into dating. And if she’s been at it for a while, she could tell them that she sincerely hopes this person is the one.“Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge (With Men)”

6. We also tell our friends where we will be and when we expect to be home.

Prevention is better than cure, we always say. You can also rest assured that we have at least one friend standing by to call us with an urgent “problem” if we text them that we feel uncomfortable.

7. We use excuses to get out of dates.

At one time or another, all women have done this, especially to escape a second date if the first one didn’t go so well. We’ll make up a little white lie about how work suddenly went crazy or about taking our (imaginary) pet for a last-minute vet appointment.

To no one’s surprise, these sometimes backfire. “Your potential date is likely to wait for your excuse to come up. And who can blame them? They have no idea that you’re just not interested,” says McDermott. “Take charge of your right to say no. You don’t have to make it a treatise on everything you find unappealing, boring, or just really weird about them. Keep it short and keep it on yourself.“Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge (With Men)”

8. From time to time we make a meal before meals.

Sometimes we don’t know if it’s a dinner date or a drink date, and we want to make sure we’re covered. And sometimes, as horrible as it sounds, we don’t want to be too hungry on the date. But as McDermott points out, this is totally unnecessary. “This goes back to the decidedly anti-feminist belief that women should be delicate little birds,” he says. In other words: women should eat and order what they want.

9. And we investigate the menu.

Yes, we choose our food in advance. But if you think about it, this is tremendously practical. By doing so, we can spend less time reading about port wine reduction sauce and more time focusing on the conversation at hand. Goodbye, awkward silence!

10. We have had a glass of wine before the date.

Who doesn’t need a little liquid courage before a date? But McDermott cautions that this shouldn’t be a regular pre-date practice. “You shouldn’t have to have a drink before a date,” she says. “Your nervousness is just part of who you are, and if your date can’t see it, move on.”

11. We try on various date night outfits for our friends.

Trying on clothes in the mirror is one thing; Showing friends and roommates multiple options, either in person or over FaceTime, is another. Doing a full fashion show for a friend (trying on two or three outfits before choosing the final favorite) hours before going on a date is not unusual. Is it a bit excessive? Probably. Will we still do it anyway? Definitely. “Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge (With Men)”

12. We experiment with different makeup styles.

Why we suddenly transform into YouTube influencers in the hours leading up to a date can always be a mystery. But we do, trying and retrying different makeup looks until we get to what we would have done anyway: our original makeup routine. Who would have thought?

13. We arrive early but stop somewhere else first so we don’t seem too anxious.

We worry that being too early makes us look uncool, but being late makes us look disorganized. The solution? We arrive early, but stop somewhere down the block to wait for the time difference and walk into the restaurant or bar at just the right time.

14. We text our friends updates from the bathroom.

Or from the table while you’re in the bathroom. Or under the table, while you look at the menu. You better believe our best friends are getting the 411 on the date. The first text out on a blind date? It’s probably a variation of “Don’t worry, it seems safe.”

15. We sweat for the next bill.

No matter how you look at it, this scenario is always a bit (or sometimes severely) awkward. Do you assume your date is paying because he or she asked you out? Do you offer to go dutch? There is no definitive best approach, but offering to help pay the bill by covering your food doesn’t hurt. There’s a chance your date will stray anyway, but making the offer is always a nice gesture. “Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge (With Men)”

16. We inform our friends as soon as we get home.

Have we already given you updates little by little throughout the night? Yes. Will we still try to contact them through FaceTime or a regular phone call once we get home? your bet. Our best friends obviously need a complete summary of the date, good or bad. After all, they sat through that fashion show and all the Facebook stalking.

17. And we reworked our calendars for a possible second date.

If all went well, we mentally rearrange our schedules so we can see you again. Because we really want to, zodiac incompatibility and all. And for more dating tips, check out these 10 Subtle Signs a Girl Really Likes You. “Dating Secrets Women Will Never Openly Acknowledge (With Men)”

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