How to Coax a Shy Person Into Talking Around You – Whatsdalatest

Shy people can be awkward for many people. But in reality, they really aren’t. Get them in the zone, get them comfortable, and you’ll see that just like everyone else, a shy person can be an amazing conversationalist.

They can chat about just about anything and they can do it in a fun way that may even surprise you. Do you admire a shy person with whom you want to have a conversation? Here are 10 tips you can use to persuade a shy person to speak up around you:

1. The hello smile

When trying to persuade a shy person to talk to you, know that how you approach the person at first is very important.

The way you approach a shy person can open them up for conversation and it can close them off for any conversation.

If you approach them in a way that makes them feel any way, their anxiety and social awkwardness kicks in, and they’ll most likely say, ‘No, I don’t want to talk.’

When you approach a shy person, let your body language portray you as confident. Don’t look mean or threatening or frown. Wear a bright smile, your cheeks open, your face bright.

Your tone of voice shouldn’t be scary when you ask if you can sit or talk with them. yessay something like: “Hello. Can I sit with you?” Wait for them to respond and then shit.

2. Make them feel comfortable

Now they’ve agreed to let you sit with them? Whats Next? Well, I’ll tell you what. Make your shy friend feel comfortable.

Knowing that people often look to them for answers to questions about their personality, shy people can become very anxious when they feel threatened or ridiculed.

They will shut you out immediately, and your attempt to persuade them to talk to you will meet an early failed end. This is how you make a shy person feel comfortable:

Try to be the shy person:

We’ve all had our fair share of shy moments. Perhaps as children, and perhaps even as adults. Do you remember what your shy moment felt like? This is probably exactly how the person you want to talk to feels. So approach with caution.

Don’t look them in the eye:

Many shy people avoid eye contact with strangers. It scares them, making them want to lock themselves in their shells against anxiety.

So avoid his eyes. Don’t give them that stare that often becomes a battle for whoever looks away first.

Without laughing:

You don’t know why your shy friend is shy. He may have something to do with his self-esteem. Many stutterers, for example, can be quite shy due to their speech impediment.

People who don’t love their bodies may avoid physical contact with others because it brings out their insecurities.

Laughing with a shy person can subconsciously make them feel like you’re laughing at them. Do not do this. No giggles, especially the quiet and annoying ones.

Act shy too:

When you are around a shy person, try to act shy. This sends them a subconscious message that they might interpret as:

“Wow, a shy person like me. I’ll probably hire him and see how he goes. He’s also probably very shy.”

Viola!

3. A short story is a wonderful opening

A short opener always works with a shy person if you hope to persuade them to respond positively.

If you are a lover of novels or short stories, I am sure you know what grand openings are like. Many writers open their stories or novels with a scene that the writer is familiar with. They usually talk about the weather, or a dress, or a character.

Pick a novel and you’ll probably find the first line something along the lines of: “On a cold day in August when the rain had just let up…”

These lines are also great conversation starters because they make the person believe that you are also interested in what they are interested in.

When you’ve sat down with your shy friend, start the conversation by telling him a story. Tell your story in a way that grabs their attention. Talk about the weather. Heaven. If you are sitting in a field, talk about the beautiful flowers around you.

“It is a beautiful day…”. You can say, “On days like this (this is you venturing into a deeper conversation), life is truly beautiful and having a friend seems to be one of the best things that can happen to a person. ”

4. Pause

Pauses are healthy during conversations. Because actually, silence is one of the ways you can talk to a person.

When you should have told your story, you don’t have to say much. Like dust in water, let your story settle. Let it resonate with your shy friend and let him decide what he wants to say in response.

Your shy friend is probably very interested in talking to you right now, and is most likely thinking about what to say next.

Shy people can be very calculating with words, you see. They will rarely waste words or speak without first thinking about everything they will say and how they will say it. Let them think. Let the silence help you do just that.

5. Listen

Like a cute little bunny perking its ears at the sound of the wind, perk up your ears and give your full attention when your shy friend starts talking.

Listening can be an art, and every conversationalist understands that listening to a person is what brings them closer to you. Don’t interrupt a person until they finish talking, even if they pause during the conversation.

In fact, with shy people, and with everyone, pauses during a sentence do not necessarily mean that the sentence is complete.

Before responding, make sure their pauses really mean that they have fully conveyed a train of thought and are now waiting for you to make an input.

6. Another story

You should have noticed by now that all conversations are just stories that people exchange.

Talking to someone is like playing catch and throw. The person throws and you catch. You throw and the person catches. Talk about something deeper this time. Talk about your name and how it came to be.

Talk about your childhood. The stories about childhood are warm and welcoming and bring nostalgic feelings. Many people are fine talking about their childhood. Talk about your high school and all the games you played back then etc.

7. Don’t comment on the person’s discomfort

To coax a shy person into a conversation, try not to comment on their shy moments. Doing so is a bit abusive as you are bringing out their insecurities.

They will most likely respond to this by excluding you. Everything you’ve done so far will go down the drain along with their interest in talking to you.

So even if the silence gets heavy and the awkwardness turns into a funny joke, don’t say anything about it.

Do not joke. Do not laugh. Don’t comment. Instead, try to fill in the gaps with exciting bits of conversation.

Some conversations draw a person in so deeply that awkwardness ceases to be an issue. Ask questions.

8. No, don’t talk about their bodies, their

When talking to a shy person, or anyone for that matter, as long as it’s a stranger, it’s not good practice to make comments about their bodies.

This rarely matters if it’s a good comment or not. Try not to say anything about how a person looks.

You don’t want a person to come up to you and say something nasty about your dress. So don’t comment on a shy person’s appearance.

9. Body language

When talking to a shy person, watch their body language, especially their facial expressions. Stir up the conversation by watching how they react to certain topics.

If he frowns or tightens his face when you say something in particular, try not to say it again. You may be causing them.

Remember, you don’t want to provoke a shy person. No, you don’t want their anxiety walls going up against you.

See how his arms move, how his legs swing. And don’t let it be obvious you’re watching them. This will make them seem even more shy and awkward.

Be subtle about these things. Even when you make a mistake, pretend you didn’t notice. Set aside. Give them space to collect themselves and then come back to talk to you.

10. Know when it’s time to go

Don’t talk for an extended period of time if you intend to talk to a shy person easily and keep the conversation going. Conversations shouldn’t last forever. When the time comes to leave, you must realize this and you must go. Say something like, “It was nice talking to you.” And leave.

You can get their number if they are willing to give it to you and you can schedule other dates. Now that they’ve talked to you, they’ll want to talk to you again.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

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