Straight from a professional love teacher.
Contrary to what you see on Facebook, marriage is not rainbows and butterflies. Spending the rest of your life with the partner of your dreams is a very good aspect, but it also requires work.
Between moments of marital bliss come some of the most difficult conversations, and the first year as a married couple is often the most difficult. You work long hours, manage family chores and the budget, and yet look forward to spending quality time together. After the “I do’s” are over, keep these tips in mind for a happy and stress-free first year of marriage. “Suggestions for a Stress-Free First 12 Months of Marriage”
Don’t forget to speak.
Remembering to talk to others sounds easy enough, but it’s critical to continually have open and honest conversations. “Asking for what you need and sharing how you feel, especially when it’s uncomfortable or scary, is one of the keys to developing a comfortable, pressure-free date,” says love coach Lindsay Chrisler. but make sure that you and your companion feel comfortable to have a communication. Talking late at night or after too many cocktails, for example, the simplest results in miscommunication.
Don’t get stuck in technology.
It can be all too easy to end up spending your evenings together snuggled up on the couch with your phones. But revel in your face and stay away from the monitors. “Everyone has a unique level of intensity with their phone habit and tolerance for someone else’s smartphone addiction. If cell phone use bothers one or both of you during courtship, have a conversation about what you both feel is appropriate. Then provide a plan,” says Chrisler. Start by trying a new coverage for more than a week where no phones or computers are allowed during meals or while watching movies, then talk about the problem one more time.
Don’t abandon your friends.
While you’re in a relationship, it’s easier to stick with your big other than it is to devise lady time with your friends. But you need to find time for your best friends, specifically during the first 12 months of your marriage. “The vitality of dating depends on the vitality of the community of friends who help you on your dates. The more great time you spend with the people you love, the better support community you have,” says Chrisler. “If your dating relationship ever feels harassed or your partner isn’t always available for what you need, you’ll still be supported and the connection won’t be made.”
It’s time to be more budget conscious than ever. That means discussing each of your spending habits and making sure a big chunk of your paycheck doesn’t always go to Sephora. (What a bummer!) “The key is to talk about the important issues, even though we’re conditioned to feel uncomfortable doing so,” says Chrisler. “Put everything on the desk: the numbers, the wishes, the feelings, the fears. Try this at the same time every month and get into the habit. The more stable you are, the less difficult it will be. Also, treat yourself as a couple afterwards and do something fun. This way, your brain will remember having a great time with the price range.”
Treat your partner with kindness.
Announcing not to fight is not always a sincere possibility, it will happen. Also, some prevention can simply be productive. But while you do get into trouble with each different one, be aware of one problem: Generally, be nice. “The fact that this character is your partner and that he has devoted himself to you does not suggest that you treat him more carelessly, especially in the course of arguments,” says Chrisler. “Since you are with this person for life, it is better to be more respectful. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and care, just as you would a true friend.”
Never go to the mattress disenchanted with each different one.
Talk fight man, make sure you fix the problem before you go to bed or at least make sure you don’t fall asleep mad at each other. “One person, anyone who can do it faster and wouldn’t count the number of people, has to allow something to come across that’s bothering them both and they find a way to add love to the situation,” says Chrisler. “He examines the love language of the other person and offers something that leads to happiness: contact, humor, a little observation, sweet words. The phrases ‘sorry’ are crossed in a prolonged way. Just be sure to hint as you say it.”
Obligations of proportion.
Things can get a bit complicated after you move in together, actually. While living under the same roof, make sure you don’t get caught doing the dishes. All your obligations must be assumed as a team. “Take a seat together and put all the things on the desk that need to be handled. And remember also emotional fitness and not secular! Ensuring that the relationship is healthy and fun is just as important as throwing out the garbage,” says Chrisler. Get everyone to do what they definitely love to do to make chores more fun. If you want to do the dishes and her husband is a fan of laundry, start there and then hand out the not-so-fun stuff.
Remember about intimacy.
It may seem like newlywed couples can’t keep their fingers off each other, but the truth? Every couple gets tired, lazy, and put into a normal environment, and sometimes that means no intimacy for weeks at a time. However, do not let that home you had while you said your vows go out. “Sex is remarkably essential; deepen your love and bond.
Find time for physical intimacy, but also make sure you take the stress out of having sex,” says Chrisler. “You may be willing to hug, kiss for 5 minutes or something else; make sure there are other options on the table for how to be intimate.”