A happy relationship isn’t always about doing everything right. It is also about knowing how to communicate your feelings, both good and bad. When you speak from a place of desire, you can be sure that your partner will know what you need and want more than anything in the world.
It’s important that you both feel like you’re there for each other, but it’s equally important that you both feel like you have the support of your desires.
That way, even when the going gets tough, there’s still someone there who fully understands. Here are some ways to keep the language of desire I live in your relationship.
Why is the language of desire important?
When you speak from a place of love, you don’t always have to say the words you want to say. You must understand what your partner needs and then make it clear to them. What does it mean to let your partner know you love them? It could be telling them a joke, cooking for them, or giving them a message on demand.
Sometimes saying something as simple as “You look beautiful today” shows what you want.
You should always speak from stages of loveeven when you’re being honest or when you’re angry. There’s a fine line between showing them that you love them by being honest and showing them that you’re angry by not letting them know how you feel.
How can you keep it alive in your relationship?
Listen to your partner’s needs. When your partner is speaking, your attention should be drawn immediately to what they are saying. It’s okay if you don’t agree. Don’t just nod and smile. Listen to the needs behind the words.
Take a moment to ask yourself what you need. You may need to tell your partner how you feel about her actions, or you may need to tell her that you need more intimacy. No matter what your need is, make sure your partner feels heard and respected.
Speak from a place of compassion. Most likely, you feel many things deeply. Some of the things that you feeling can be goodsome of them can be bad, but whatever the case, you want to make sure that the way you feel communicates compassionately to your partner.
Know what your needs and wants are. Never assume that what you want is what your partner also wants. There are always barriers that prevent the two of you from being exactly who you want to be.
First, they may need you to think and act in a certain way in order to give you what you want. Second, you may need to be patient or they may have problems with the way you communicate because it doesn’t reflect your wishes or their wishes for you.
Just ask them what they want and make sure you listen to them, even when you don’t want what they want for you. It’s just as important for you to be able to talk about what you want and need as it is for your partner to know.
You can’t expect them to always know what you want when you don’t know what you want yourself.
The power to say what you need and want
When the going gets tough, it’s easy to fall into the “blame game.” You’re tired of being alone, you want your partner to like you, or maybe you have a problem that you don’t know how to express or that makes you feel incredibly vulnerable.
You go to the person you love, who loves you unconditionally, and you desperately try to find the words to tell them what you need. They know you’re in pain, they know you’re scared and they know you’re nervous about putting yourself out there, but they also know what you need.
That’s when you need to be real with your partner and tell them what you need: to feel seen, to feel safe, to feel special, and to feel beautiful. Remember: you are not asking them to fix you.
The power of being heard
Express yourself about your feelings. You will never get over an argument with your partner if you are not clear about your feelings. Put them in writing (emails and text messages can work just fine), then listen to them when they reply. You may not agree with everything, but at least you can have an honest conversation about it.
Communication also helps you discover what you need and want. Let your partner know what she wants and needs, and take a few minutes to write down what she wants or needs. Don’t worry, no one will read it. But it’s good to know.
Focusing on the positive. When your partner is a jerk or ignores you, you may not want to be around him or her. So focus on what you like about him or her.
How to communicate with each other about difficult things
The key to having a happy relationship is being able to talk about difficult and even embarrassing things that you would never want your parents to know.
If you’re afraid of scaring each other and don’t feel comfortable talking, there are two things to consider. First, don’t bottle up your anger or fear. These are things that need to be recognized and treated right away, whether you’re talking with your partner, your friends, or your therapist.
The second thing to keep in mind is that each of you is allowed to be angry with each other. It’s healthy to express your emotions and have your partner there to validate them.
But you should never feel ashamed to share how you feel.
Take care of yourself and your partner
When you start to feel like you don’t want to be intimate with your partner, you need to take care of yourself. This means that your health is a priority and that you are not trying to do more than your body is physically capable of.
healthy relationships can exist without sex, so if you feel like your relationship lacks some kind of emotional or physical intimacy, the best solution is to get to the root of the problem.
Learn to ask for what you need, when you need it. If you don’t feel supported by your partner, talk to them and find out where the problem is. Is it because their relationship lacks desire? Are they too busy? Do not listen? It’s also important to practice saying what you need directly.
Making time for each other is something that takes practice. But as you build intimacy in your relationship and intimacy in your relationship with yourself, you will find that the two of you will be the kind of people you both want to be.